The past year has had some serious ups and downs. The scariest and most serious "down" was the obvious declining health of my dad.
Last spring he was diagnosed with a condition called Pernicious Anemia. According to the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute, "Pernicious anemia is a type of anemia (a condition in which your body has a lower than normal number of red blood cells). In pernicious anemia, the body can't make enough healthy red blood cells because it doesn't have enough vitamin B12. Without enough vitamin B12, your red blood cells don't divide normally and are too large. They may have trouble getting out of the bone marrow—a sponge-like tissue inside the bones where blood cells are made. Without enough red blood cells to carry oxygen to your body, you may feel tired and weak. Severe or long-lasting pernicious anemia can damage the heart, brain, and other organs in the body."
Untreated, the condition can cause serious permanent damage to the body, and can even be fatal. For years my dad has struggled with an increasing loss of balance and energy. He was unusually and often fatigued. He always made jokes, crediting this exhaustion to his oncoming old age. As a walking post-man, delivery routes were especially challenging and in the past 6 or 7 months he developed a severe limp. It was especially disheartening this past winter break, when he often couldn't finish his routes. He was taught by his father to always work hard and muscle through, and he's never detoured from that mentality. Because of this I imagine calling home at the end of the work day because he literally could not finish was very difficult and emotional for him, and it broke my heart. My mom and I would have to go meet him on multiple occasions and when we would get there, he could barely walk and with every step was a wince of pain. He would tell me what mail goes where and I would have to finish the route for him.
Aside from the pain, the hardest thing for him is admitting that he cannot do something. He knows that his body is failing him. He cannot walk long distances, some days it hurts to walk at all, and he has a severe limp. This past summer he didn't kayak once, and for those of you who know him, I'm sure you can imagine how much that hurt him. The bills for the doctors visits are not easy either. Insurance helps for the most part, but I'm sure they would help more if the condition were more recognized. Knowledge of the importance of B12 is gaining speed, but not fast enough to get my dad the help he needs right now. His saving grace is my mother, a brilliant and dedicated women, driven by her love for and need to protect her family. She has spent countless nights researching everything she can, and in the process has become his personal nurse and guardian angel. I really think she knows more than his doctor about how to treat him.
Pernicious Anemia is not commonly diagnosed, because knowledge of this condition is relatively new. My parents had to go to 4 or 5 doctors before they found one that diagnosed him correctly. The other doctors just simply were not educated on the condition. After finding a doctor familiar with his problem, my dad now goes for weekly appointments where he spends at least an hour hooked up to an IV getting essential vitamins and minerals into his body. He gets queasy and light headed every single time.
As his daughter, seeing him like this was one of the hardest things I have ever faced. Wanting so badly to help him, relieve his pain and have there be nothing I could do. The emotional pain is evident in his eyes and the normal joy and humor that used to define him has subsided. He is sad and he is hurting.
There is good news though, with the treatment, he is improving. But even with the good days, there are still the bad days, and the awful ones. There is a very good chance he will make a full recovery, but it's going to take a very long time, maybe months, maybe years. Even so, we have hope for him and we are thankful that we have the knowledge to move in the right direction, one step at a time.
On a personal note, this experience has definitely put things into perspective for me, my priorities have changed and in the past year I have grown so much, so fast. I cannot even explain it, and people who have watched a loved one suffer in the way I have can and probably do relate. Some things just lose all importance, and other things take precedence.
On that note, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this. After keeping it private for so long, I would like for the people I care about to know what has been going on with my family for the past year. For the few of you who did know, thank you for your love, support and well wishes. I ask that everyone please keep him and my family in your thoughts and prayers. Much love and God bless.
